Saturday, January 5, 2013

New Year 2013

Looking back at 2012, thinking it was a pretty good year, Beginning in Janurary my bf returned to CA after 3 weeks of holiday joy, I was sad and me and my family all missed him. I know now that he had to return because he couldn't stand going without a drink for any longer. Sadly looking back I realize that he wasn't as strong as he claimed to be and was suffering from depression, due to job loss and it got worse when he returned to CA alone and he actually missed me and my family terribly. He had no reason to stay in CA all alone though and my family wondered why he wanted to remain out there, we sadly all know why now. Through 2012 he continued to make excuses why he had to stay in CA even though he would say he was moving, here to OK, where he was born to begin with and he wanted to marry me and be happy. I wanted to have a stress free, fight free relationship so I went along with all his stories believing every word. In the back of my mind I had doubts and I should have listened to myself.
So the year went on month after month holiday after holiday, including valentine's and then his birthday, which as he said, no matter what people don't remain apart for birthdays, yet when his came there was no trip plans made, the year before we spent several days, holidays and made lots of trips back and forth to be together and work at a long distant relationship. Plans were made for when he aquired a new job and then moving would be in order, then new plans were made that he was going to move to Oklahoma to be with me and close to my family since I had kids and he never had any, still things got worse throughout 2012. Finally I had enough and so I told him that I was going to leave for CA and we would have to work things out face to face. He agreed he missed me very much and it would be wonderful to hug and see me after so many months. So I packed and made ready to leave my home, then he calls and says that it's not a good time and that I need to stay home, he admitted to drinking and that he would sober up and make plans to come out to me for the holidays, but that he had a really bad case of flu and couldn't hardly walk, which alerted me that this genius of man had fallen into deeper depression and that I needed to get him help fast.
So I called for help but by the time I could get anyone to listen to me and due to the fact that my bf was such a good liar, making up detailed stories of his actions which included seeing a physciatrist seeking counciling, seeing family members, and going places for job interviews and other things, all this had been nothing but lies over and over for 8 months now, and he was almost dead.
 had a new baby grand daughter born in February, she is so beautiful

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