Friday, November 15, 2013

Morning Coffee and Thoughts to Think About

“Never apologize for being nervous.”
Whether it’s a job interview, a speech or auditioning for a part in a community play, nervous feelings are inevitable. They happen to everyone.
The difference is how each woman deals with her nervous feelings. First, you should accept them as part of you and know you are not alone in your feelings. Second, don’t feel the need to apologize for being nervous. When you do, you only draw attention to it. Keep in mind that even if most of the time you see yourself as nervous, your audience doesn’t. And, they don’t need to know.
Instead, take a deep breath, stand tall and speak. You are a confident woman with something important to say – nervousness and all.
Jane Powell

Walk your path one step at a time 
Life's circumstances are not always what you might wish them to be.The pattern of life does not necessarily go as you plan. Beyond any understanding , you may at times be led in different directions that you never imagined , dreamed,or designed. Yet if you have never put any effort into choosing a path , or tried to carry out your dream , then perhaps you would have no direction at all. 
Rather than wondering about or questioning the direction your life has taken , accept the fact that there is a path before you now. Shake off the ''why's'' and ''what if's'' ,and rid yourself of confusion. Whatever was- is in the past. Whatever is - is what's important.The past is a brief reflection.The future is yet to be realized. Today is here. 
Walk your path one step at a time - with courage , faith , and determination.Keep your head up , and cast your dreams to the stars. Soon your steps will become firm and your footing will be solid again.  A path that you never imagined will become the most comfortable direction you could have ever hoped to follow. 
Keep your belief in yourself and walk into your new journey.You will find it magnificent , spectacular , and beyond your wildest imaginings. 

The best of now
Now is the time to make a difference. Now is the moment to do what you know you must do.
Now is when you can transform possibility into reality. Now is when you can bring your dreams to life.
Is there a problem that’s been frustrating you? Now is when you can take real, focused action to work your way through it.
Sure, there are plenty of ways to waste this day. But you now have the chance to choose to make good and valuable use of it.
Now is an opportunity to create value. And that opportunity cannot be delayed until later.
Now is yours to use for whatever rich and fulfilling purpose you can imagine. Stand up, step forward, and get busy making the very best of now.
Ralph Marston
Your life will always be, to a large extent, what you make it.”
Your life is yours. You own it, and what you make of it is purely up to you. Others may support you in your aspirations, but, in the end, it’s your creation. You are your one and only boss, and with that awareness comes a special responsibility.
Once you accept this responsibility and stop waiting around for others to make you happy, you will become unstoppable. There will be no denying you. Your life will change, all because of you.
So, turn on the green light and go!
©Jane Powell

“Commitment is a decision”
Commitment is not just a simple act of wishing for something. Commitment is a decision to do whatever it takes.
You may wish to be in awesome shape. But, you won’t succeed until you decide to put down the chocolates, get off the couch, and start exercising, regularly!
Yes, this is hard to hear, but that’s what commitment is all about – deciding to put in the sweat and effort and sacrifice, to achieve the goals you hold dear.
The sweat and effort may come from your head, as in commitment to your workplace or achieving your goals. It may come from your heart, as in commitment to a relationship or your children.
But, wherever it comes from, it requires a decision not only to start, but persevere. Remember, the rewards you seek are priceless, and worth every moment of dedicated effort.

Get on with living
Avoid trouble, but not so much that you avoid life. Anticipate possible problems, but don’t obsess over them so much that you miss the opportunities.
When you set out on an ambitious path, there are plenty of things that might go wrong. Prepare yourself to deal with those possible pitfalls, but don’t allow them to become excuses even before they become reality.
Don’t let yourself be stopped by what might not even happen. Rather, let yourself be pushed forward by the positive value of what you intend to achieve, to experience, to create.
Put your time and effort into growing stronger, more capable, more experienced and effective. Focus your thoughts not on worrying about what might stand in your way, but on visualizing where you desire to go.
You’ve already made your way through every challenge to date. You have every reason to be confident that you can successfully deal with whatever life sends your way.
There are plenty of reasons and ways to be careful, yet there’s no reason to constantly live in fear. Go ahead and get on with living a positive, meaningful life.
Ralph Marston
“Concentrate on the few, not the many.”
You can think of many things that you want to change or achieve. The problem is, when you set out to do too many things at once, nothing gets the full attention it needs – and, in the end, very little is accomplished.
To succeed, you need to set priorities. Choose only one or two things that you want to achieve. Concentrate your efforts exclusively on these goals. Very quickly your efficiency will soar and you will see results.
©Jane Powell
This is my life, and my dreams are worth it
Life is a courageous journey or nothing at all. We cannot become who we want to be by continuing to do exactly what we’ve been doing. If you are passionate about something, pursue it, no matter what anyone else thinks. That’s how dreams are achieved. Be deaf when people tell you that you can’t fulfill your dreams. The only place where your goals and dreams are impossible is inside your head. Once you’ve dreamed of it, you’re halfway there. So go ahead and follow through. Let your dreams be bigger than your fears and your actions louder than your words. Follow your heart regardless of what others tell you to do. At the end of the day it’s you who has to live with your decisions, not them.
The positive side
Your attitude may be the biggest thing holding you back. And that’s great news, because you can change it very quickly.
Other challenges and limitations can take much time and energy to overcome. Yet if your attitude is what’s limiting you, then you have the key right here and now to break free.
Your attitude does not define you and it doesn’t really control you. It does, however, exert a powerful influence on the way you see the world.
The simple fact is that with a positive, purposeful and loving attitude, you are able to see and to connect with life’s best possibilities. And simply by deciding to choose it, you can immediately benefit from such an attitude.
You don’t have to let your attitude be held hostage by negative people, events or circumstances. You can choose whatever attitude you wish, no matter what may be going on around you.
So give yourself a powerful advantage. Choose an attitude, right now, that will illuminate the positive side of life, and begin right away to reap the great rewards of your empowering focus.
Ralph Marston
By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

"I have never been able to conceive how any rational being could propose happiness to himself from the exercise of power over others." - Thomas Jefferson
When your intent is to control others, are you thinking about happiness or are you more concerned about safety? Are you confusing the two - thinking that trying to feel safe by attempting to control others will make you feel happy?
It is my experience that people try to control out of fear, and that the motivating factor is the need for safety.

Take a moment to think about your own experience. Since we all try to control at times (please take all judgment off 'being controlling' so that you can learn), it is likely that you can remember a time when you were trying to control how someone felt about you or how they behaved - with anger, shaming, blaming, guilting, compliance, people-pleasing, withdrawal, resistance or many of the more subtle ways we try to control each other. Our ego-wounded self has learned many ways to try to control others so as not to feel helpless over them, and not to feel the loneliness and heartbreak of others' unloving behavior.
When you think about a time you were controlling with someone, was happiness even a consideration? Do you recall ever actually feeling happy or joyful when you managed to get someone's approval, or when you managed to bully someone into complying? You might have felt the momentary relief that comes from feeling some power over another, rather than feeling helpless over the other person, but did it fill your heart with peace and joy?
If you are honest with yourself, you will discover that the momentary feeling of safety derived from not feeling powerless over another person was what you were seeking. And if you continue to be honest with yourself, you will discover that, not only did this not bring you happiness or joy, but knowing that you manipulated someone might have even undermined your self-esteem. I have many clients who tell me that they are often afraid someone will find out they are a fraud - that they are not who they seem to be - because of their controlling behavior. They are willing to pay a high price for the illusion of safety.
Illusion? Yes. The kind of 'safety' that comes from controlling behavior is very different than the true safety that comes from loving yourself and taking responsibility for your feelings - rather than making others responsible for you. Even if another does seem to give you the love, approval or behavior you are seeking, they can always change their mind, or they can leave. How is that safe?
Real emotional safety, happiness and joy come from being loving to yourself and to others - not from trying to get love, approval or compliance through your controlling behavior.
When you are willing to shift your intent from trying to control others, to learning to love yourself, you will experience the huge difference between the 'safety' and relief that you may momentarily experience, and the true inner peace and joy that is possible when you learn to love yourself.
I know it is scary to the ego-wounded self to even contemplate learning about your controlling behaviors and how they make you feel, but I can assure you that it is worth it. I never felt true joy until I opened to learning about my controlling behaviors and to learning to love myself.
In order to learn about the many ways you might be trying to control, it's vitally important that you see this learning as an exciting discovery process, which you can do only when you take all judgment off your controlling behaviors. We all try to control, so let's not make it a bad word or a bad thing to do!
Your good life
Live the good life you have, as it comes. Don’t be overly concerned about losing it, or obsessed with making it into something it’s not.
Enjoy the goodness of your existence in a universe filled with abundance. Feel the sacred uniqueness of each moment and find joy in fulfilling the best possibilities.
It is good to plan and to remember. Yet you are alive in this moment to live the special beauty of this moment.
Your good life is not in some fondly remembered past or some hoped for future. It is here and now.
Appreciate the good life you now have. It is truly beautiful, and the miracle of you is that you can experience that beauty.
Your good life is here today, flowing gently through your experience. Now is your moment to live it all.
Ralph Marston

excerpts from

" Morning Coffee"
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